operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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