I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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