HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
