My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
