Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It was confusing and full of hummus
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize