Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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