If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
