even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
