I think im going to throw up on grandma
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
