im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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