I'm eating all of the evidence.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
