I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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