There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
