i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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