we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
