I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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