So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
