i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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