i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
