I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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