I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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