if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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