Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
