your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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