we're blogging at a bar
I wish I only lived at night.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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