I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
