you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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