wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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