I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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