This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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