i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
