if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
