HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
