i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
