so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Randomize
