He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
