just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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