And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
