So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
