CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
