thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
