If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
