Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
