Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize