Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
