So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
