Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just found a bag of teeth...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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