We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
