i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
