new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
