4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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