I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
