so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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