Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
