We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
