Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just pee around me
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
