My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
