The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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