i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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