the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
