how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
