some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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